Company of Stars
by xahra99
Summary: A seasonal story written for the Mass Effect Secret Santa gift exchange. The Normandy discovers something unexpected on their journey through space, and Garrus nearly shoots down Santa. One-shot. Complete


The Company of Stars.

A Mass Effect 2 fan fiction by xahra99

Written for susako for the Mass Effect Secret Santa exchange, with the prompt: 'Anything wintry with the Mass Effect crew.'

It was always silent in deep space. The Normandy slid between the radiant beams of far-off stars, heading for the nearest mass effect relay. Her engines made no sound.

Unlike the void outside her windows, the frigatewas never quiet. The craft thrummed with the vibrations of engines, the murmurs of conversation, and the hum of the heat sinks. The ship maintained a twenty-four hour watch. Her crew rotated in eight-hourly shifts. Her commander was always on duty.

Shepard slept in heavenly peace in the blue-tinged darkness of the captain's cabin. Fish-shaped shadows danced upon the opposite wall as a floating blue sphere materialised above Shepard's desktop terminal. It rotated slowly once, as if examining the room, and activated an alarm.

Shepard blinked and rolled over. "EDI?"

"Commander?" the AI asked crisply. The alarm ceased, replaced by a screen displaying time, date, room temperature and the course and approximate arrival time of the _Normandy_ at the mass relay.

Shepard reached out and pressed a button on the screen. Azure digits flashed upon on its surface, recording a sleep session far too brief as always. Shepard sighed. "EDI, report."

"Unidentified object approaching." The AI sounded repentant, or as close to it as an artificial intelligence ever got. "The helmsman has requested your presence, sir."

"EDI, is it-"

"_Urgently_, sir."

Shepard dressed in the cold blue light of the fish tank and reached the bridge in less than two minutes.

The red warning lights flashing on every console told Shepard that something was very wrong. Joker's rigid posture confirmed the bad news. Shepard could have used the _Normandy's_ pilot's spine as a ruler.

Joker saluted hurriedly as Shepard approached. EDI materialised at the terminal next to his chair, but the pilot didn't even acknowledge the AI's appearance. Shepard knew that that was a bad sign. The AI and Joker had a love/hate relationship centred on an eternal struggle for complete control of the _Normandy's _systems. "What is it?"

Joker rubbed his eyes. "It's a ship," he said, pointing to a neon smudge marked on one of the bridge's many screens.

Shepard tapped the screen. "It might be a ship, but it's still several parsecs away."

"And getting closer," Joker said grimly. "I've been tracking it since it came within scanner range. It'll pass straight across our bows if it keeps to its course."

"Where did you pick it up?" Shepard carefully refused to use the word 'collect.'

"Past Chiron Beta Prime," Joker said.

Shepard checked a mental map of all the missions, legitimate and otherwise, in the area. "Do you think it could be Alliance?"

Joker shook his head. "No. But I don't think it a geth vessel, either," he said. "One thing's for sure, though, it's far too small for a Reaper."

"Hail it," Shepard ordered.

Joker adjusted his headphones and punched in the command. He waited for a moment. "No answer, Commander."

Shepard heard a flicker of faint sound amongst the static. "Turn up the volume."

Joker spun a dial. White noise filled the cabin. Buried in the static was the faint but constant sound of laughter. The sound was jolly and not at all sinister –quite surprising, Shepard thought, for laughter drifting through deep space. "Joker?"

Joker's hands were a blur over the keyboard. Shepard hoped that the pilot wouldn't break a finger. "Not me, Commander."

The craft upon the _Normandy's_ screen crept forwards. It looked like it was moving slowly from the screens, but Shepard could tell from the readings that it was moving at several times the speed of light. "Can we get a visual on the ship?"

Joker shook his head. "Too far. But we can guess. It's too small for a cruiser."

"Unmanned probe?"

"Too large. A life support pod? It's small enough for that."

"No beacon," Shepard pointed out.

"It could be disabled." Joker said.

They studied the screen. The ship, whatever it was, flew serenely onward.

"Hail the crew," Shepard said. "Red alert."

Joker touched his headset. "This is the pilot speaking," he said. "The Commander has declared a red alert. Third shift crew; please move immediately to your stations."

Shepard was pleased to see that all terminals were online within a minute. Icons displayed the faces of each of the crew. Shepard counted them instinctively. There was Joker, baseball cap askew, tense at the Normandy's helm. Mordin Solus, his round eyes blinking in dismay or fatigue. Garrus, face grim. Miranda looked more cheerful, which might have had something to do with the sudden appearance of Kelly Chambers, who was haunting her station like a ghost even though Shepard knew for a fact she wasn't supposed to be on duty.

"Nine light-years and closing, Commander," Joker said. "Approaching visual range."

"Upgrade kinetic barriers," Shepard ordered.

"Kinetic barriers upgrading to multicore shielding, Commander," Joker said. "Three hundred klicks."

Miranda patched in. She was the third watch's navigation officer. "Shall we plot an evasive course, Commander?" Her voice made it plain that she thought it a wise decision. .

"Not yet," Shepard said without knowing exactly why.

"Seven light-years," Joker said.

Garrus's voice was crisp. "I'm arming the Thanix cannon, Commander."

"Not yet, Garrus!" snapped Shepard.

The turian's voice sounded disappointed although his face as always was hard to interpret. "Disarming Thanix cannon. Commander. Although I-"

Joker's voice cut into Garrus' complaints. "Commander?"

"Joker?" Shepard asked.

"Commander," Joker repeated. His voice was artificially calm, with an edge that Shepard (who had experience in such things) interpreted as near-panic. "Look at the screen."

Shepard looked, and saw, and blinked in disbelief. Terminals around the ship flickered into life as Joker displayed the image on every screen. "What's _that_?"

Mordin answered. "I believe that it's known as a sled, Commander."

Miranda frowned. Garrus's channel was a maelstrom of outraged silence.

"Impossible," Joker said.

"Improbable, yes," Mordin said, "Impossible, no. Several species have been known to exist in the space between the stars. None of them, however, are life as we know it."

"I have audio," Joker said. Shepard guessed that the pilot had been isolating and augmenting the sounds throughout their conversation."Transferring to terminals."

An enormous chuckle crackled through the static. "HO. HO. HO."

The sound was deafening. Shepard peered at the nearest screen. Four reindeer pulled an open sleigh through the heavens. A large fat man gripped the reins in scarlet-gloved hands. He stared at Shepard, winked and shook the reins. The reindeers' hooves sped into a blur. Their breath sparkled in the air as they flew between the stars.

"It's an old earth legend," Miranda said, sounding more excited than Shepard would've given her credit for. "Santa Claus flies around the Earth on Christmas night giving presents. What's the date?"

"CE 2185." Shepard said automatically.

Kelly joined in the conversation. "The old Earth date? It's December the twenty-fourth. That's Christmas Eve."

"Christmas Eve!" Mordin said happily. "How exciting! I must make notes."

"Never heard of it." Garrus complained.

"Santa Claus." Mordin said thoughtfully. "Cross reference-'naughty or nice'. Reindeer. Snow. Chimneys. Smiling children. Unlikely to be hostile," he added.

"Good," Shepard said. Against all odds the sleigh appeared to be keeping pace with them. The Commander resisted the urge to challenge Joker to a race and said instead "Are those real reindeer?"

"Flying reindeer," Mordin said. "My archives tell me that their Latin name is _Rangifer Volens_."

"I think he's charming," said Kelly.

"I think he's highly suspicious," said Garrus. "Permission to fire Thanix cannon, Commander?"

"Permission denied," Shepard said swiftly.

The terminal crackled into life with a guffaw. "HO. HO. HO." There was a carillon of bells, a crack of the whip and a second laugh before Shepard's screen blinked out in a snarl of static.

There was a collective moment of disbelieving silence.

"What happened?" Shepard asked.

Joker sounded stunned. "He...it...vanished. No trace at all. He just...vanished."

"That's illogical," Miranda snapped.

"It's highly probable," said Mordin. "Remember that Santa Claus is a mythical being."

"It's over," Joker managed to sound both disappointed and angry. The anger, Shepard guessed, was concern that the apparition had somehow interfered with his ship. "I guess that means you can all go back to sleep."

"Affirmative," Shepard confirmed. "Stand down."

The icons in the corners of Shepard's screen vanished one by one as each of the crew disengaged their terminals and headed off to their bunks. Shepard waited until they had all returned to quarters, left Joker at the helm and returned to the captain's loft.

The private terminal in Shepard's cabin crackled into life a few seconds later. "Commander?"

Shepard had expected Joker, but it was Garrus instead. The turian sounded bemused. "Commander," he asked.

Shepard frowned. "What, Garrus?"

"Commander, we have an unexpected cargo."

Shepard's frown deepened. "What cargo, Garrus?"

"We appear to have acquired a cargo of human foot coverings." Garrus said. "Stockings, to be exact. Knitted ones."

"Is this some sort of joke?" Shepard demanded, before noticing the crimson stocking that had somehow appeared at the foot of the commander's crumpled bed. The sock was fur-trimmed and stuffed with a brightly wrapped parcel.

Shepard picked up the parcel and tilted it experimentally. It rattled. "Miranda said that Santa Claus flew around the earth on Christmas night giving presents."

"Not only Earth," Garrus said. He sounded excited. "I-I have...a lump of hard black rock." His declaration was followed by a crunching sound that nearly shorted out Shepard's comm. "Commander, it's delicious."

Shepard's stocking contained a model ship. Shepard propped it on the shelf next to the other models. It was still there the next morning, when Shepard switched on the terminal to wish the crew, alien and human alike, a "Merry Christmas."

And the _Normandy_ flew on, through the silent night of space.


End file.
